When white students demand I make people speak English in their presence

When white students demand I make people speak English in their presence

I woke up today thinking about how white students automatically assume I will take their side when they get irritated at bilingual (especially Spanish-speaking) students using another language in their presence. This assumption is an excellent, concrete example of how the expectation of white privilege in the public sphere by white people is tied to the fact that they've most likely learned that the nearest authority will favor them over whomever they complain about. This is basically the “Karen” phenomenon in a nutshell.

When I tell those white students that it's THEIR fault for not learning any other languages, they become outraged. These are people, sometimes grown-ass men nearing my age, who throw toddler tantrums at the idea that the authority figure in their midst--who LOOKS like them--will not swaddle their feelings by policing others on their behalf. They will say it’s not fair and bluster about how we’re in “AN ENGLISH” class. I remind them that it’s actually a college rhetoric class located in a predominantly English-speaking country and the course number isn’t ENG, but WR. I then point out that I, personally, do not require everyone speak my primary language in my presence and won’t bully anyone into doing so.

”Chris Cottrell: making friends,” as my spouse would say.

This type of person, who has been raised to believe the world should automatically bend to their will with the backing of whoever's in charge, invariably prefers writing arguments that neatly mirror the complaints of people like Tucker Carlson and the latest white supremacist terrorist to murder people in the name of saving the so-called (and completely concocted) "white race." They write papers in which they cast themselves as “victims” without producing any concrete or verifiable evidence of their victimhood. They say they are being “silenced” and “replaced,” often arguing that they should have more power and authority than already granted by the law or arguing in favor of maintaining any power structures that give them a distinct edge.

This leads me to questions: How many teachers in that student's life automatically turned to the bilingual kids and demanded they speak English? Or punished bilingual students outright for existing in several languages? How many of these white students were raised by their families to feel "oppressed" by the completely harmless experience of not being treated as though they're the center of someone else’s world? These are students who, on more than one occasion, have told me to my face that it’s “racist” (or “reverse racist”) to allow someone to speak Spanish in their midst. Each one thinks they are unique individuals, but I encounter the archetype often enough that the embittered “not a racist, but” white person is basically a classroom stereotype at this point.

That they consistently argue they’ve got no power and are being replaced and silenced is laughable when we look at how deeply they assume authority will intervene to alleviate their minor discomfort and how hard they lose their shit when that authority doesn’t come to the rescue. What they don’t realize is that they ARE being replaced by the thing they think they’re protecting and is so vehemently protected by almost every authority and law in the US: whiteness itself.

If my job is to introduce critical thinking to people who, as Liam Neesom noted about being white in the series Atlanta recently, "don't have to learn anything if [they] don't want to," then it behooves entitled white students to encounter someone who will not make space for their unearned entitlements or force anyone to accommodate them when they aren't doing anything to improve themselves. We can pity them for being robbed of the opportunity to develop into adults under the infantilizing yoke of white supremacy--it's not entirely their fault that they were raised in a system that keeps them too intellectually lazy to examine assumptions--but the sooner (and more often) they learn to face the discomfort of learning their white identity doesn’t entitle them to special treatment, the sooner they can learn to genuinely participate in a world that is increasingly realizing we’re long past due to evolve out of the dark ages.

So, when white students run to me to tattle on students for being bilingual, I tell them to learn the language, or several, if it makes them uncomfortable to live in a monolingual darkness empty of rational thought. That their discomfort is the direct consequence of their personal choice to live and think in only one language. Then I turn to the bilingual students and remind them that they have the right to write bilingually, with or without translations, if it makes sense within the context of the rhetorical situation. That it’s on me if I don’t speak the language and don’t put in the effort to learn.

Five Paragraphs

Five Paragraphs

I. I want to punch the five paragraph essay in its stupid face.

A. It's only useful from about 5th-8th grade.

B. Maybe.

C. It causes more organizational problems than solutions.

II. It's only useful from about 5th-8th grade.

A. Sure, I get it: Organizing principle.

B. It helps teach kids to write about something they find painfully dull.

C. Thus making it guaranteed to put all parties to sleep.

III. Maybe.

A. There are so many alternatives.

B. Of the options, this one promotes structure over ideas.

C. It should be taught as a last resort for students who can come up zero ideas on a topic (with
the warning that a "no idea" essay is a cop-out: expect a C at best).

IV. It causes more organizational problems than solutions.

A. The five paragraph format becomes a tortured mess the moment it encounters assignments
requiring more than 1.5 pages.

B. There is little to no cohesion between the sentences in a paragraph.

C. Unsupported claims and logical fallacies fester in this dank environment.

V. In conclusion, I want to punch the five paragraph essay in its stupid face.

A. It's only useful from about 5th-8th grade.

B. Maybe.

C. It causes more organizational problems than solutions.

D. Students are taught to repeat the thesis in the conclusion, which usually translates into
repeating the intro, frequently causing the essay to make no sense whatsoever.

Why we should teach real history: A realization

Why we should teach real history: A realization

Here's why an accurate world history that isn't Eurocentric is necessary and should be taught in 21st century public schools: I am THIS old (spitting distance from 46) when I learned that inoculation against smallpox, what would eventually become "vaccination," has been documented medical practice in China for 1,000 years but was introduced to rich Europeans mostly through kidnapped Africans who'd been practicing inoculation for who knows how long (my guess is probably longer than 1,000 years in both examples).

But that's not the story we typically get. According to what we learn, IF we learn about vaccines, some rich white dude noticed some hot milkmaids and wondered why they weren't all scarred and disfigured like the people who didn't work for a living and "invented" inoculation in the late 18th century. The story typically leaves out the part where he experimented on a child like a psychopath.

The real story is ALWAYS more interesting and does a MUCH better job of showing just how fundamentally amazing human ingenuity really is. I mean people are really good at solving problems in wildly inventive ways. But, of course, acknowledging this universal human quality comes at the expense of white supremacists everywhere, which is why they fight so hard to keep truth away from education under the pretense that it's "political indoctrination" to learn that civilizations exist all over the world and they're typically incredible.

On the Critical Race Theory debate

On the Critical Race Theory debate

I grew up with a more complete history of the US thanks to all the Hawaiian history classes, which is why I recognized race (and racism) was literally created by plantation owners as a tool to keep working people from uniting in the cane fields by the time I was 14. The motherfuckers literally put these plans on paper for everyone to read, so it's not, like, a well kept secret or anything.

This is why white supremacists don't want actual history taught in class: it glitches the Matrix. It doesn't make "white" kids feel bad about their skin, it makes them realize that violent racism is as real and solid as a punch to the face. But race? Race is a fiction. And the next step from that point is the realization that there is no "white." There's only the plantation owner and there's the rest of us. And that's the implicit threat that's making him outlaw the truth.

On Saying "Hello"

It's hard to imagine one thing that our species can do for another member of this species than acknowledge the presence of the other, even if briefly, as a member of the same human family. When we look into the face of another person and greet them, and they greet us, we can remind ourselves that we have come from the same small family that endured together so many millennia ago in the pocket of Africa from which the fountain of human life is sprung and welcome our distant cousins with a smile—the most human of gestures.

Welcome, cousin. I hope you prosper and are happy.