Booked a hotel to stay in Seattle to visit my father on his deathbed. He died before I got there. It's weird because we really only met a few months ago. It's the death of a stranger who has the same eyes as me, so the most I can grieve is the fantasy of a different life with a different set of horrible adults to raise me. People say he was nice, and well-liked. He seemed like an okay guy. I'm no expert. Prior to a couple months ago, I last saw him when I was about two as he and the man he was handcuffed to were lead into prison. They both waved as they were led into the building. He'd been selling drugs. He was twenty and would be in and out of prison much of his adult life. The other guy was also young and probably has the same story. They smiled broadly in their orange jumpsuits as they waved. The sky was bright blue and the air was cold.